Chapter XII – Part 8

$ By the way, I have just blocked our communication. You wanted to find out what you would answer today and I interrupted the flow of your reasoning asking you a question.

$ And I didn’t mind it at all. I have the impression that those blocks are an artificial category. What block is it if it doesn’t block me?

$ There’s something to it. The description of the blocks and pure communication are merely an attempt to describe a part of the Universe. Just like biology that elaborates on insects, mammals etc. and doesn’t say a word about the freedom of the birds. This attempt can be useful when the communication breaks down. If something works, it works. When there’s a conflict, I can ask myself: how have I blocked the communication? What can I do about it?

$ And if communication works in spite of the blocks I leave it the way it is.

$ Right. We are only human. Sometimes we feel like self-pitying, playing a role of a victim, awaking sympathy and getting it.

$ To confirm who I am I behave as if I were somebody else.

$ O! Or sometimes I may need people to “offend” (in inverted commas) me so that I can realize what I am still fighting against.

$ Why in inverted commas?

$ People can only offend me if I agree with them. Tell me what quality you are absolutely sure of.

$ My killing charm.

$ So if somebody says: I find David deeply unattractive…

$… I would think: she’s madly in love with me and thinks I’m quite off her league. Or: he’s just jealous.

$ You see: no offense in an offense. What do you consider your shortcoming?

$ E.g.: the fact that I am very fussy.

$ So what is your reaction when somebody says: oh, David, he is so fussy, you can’t stand him long-term. No wonder he has no stable relationship.

$ Ouch. It hurt.

$ I didn’t mean that. The point is, pure communication is an ideal I can refer to while in life I need …. life: offense in order to know what I don’t accept in me; pity in order to warn me about a potential role of a victim; sermons in order to practice telling apart my opinions from other people’s judgment. What would you tell the library assistant today?

$ How did it go? ‘Solve problems and conflicts from the level of Adult.’ For example: I see. Thank you. I will remember that. Now I’m getting down to work.

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