Chapter X – Part 7

After the wedding your wife can ask for a loan secured by equity value in the house you have bought. When you decide to get a divorce, it’ll take some time to dodge paying the interests. Now, if Carme contributes to your household she’ll be empty-handed when you want to split. And if you have an accident, she won’t be let in the hospital because she’s not family.

$ What are you talking about? Carme tells me anything and I would never ever quarrel over paying her back for what she’s invested in my flat.

$ That’s just the way I see that. Imagine that in 5 years I’m telling you: you haven’t paid an invoice. How would you react?

$ I would ask you what the number of the invoice was, check my files and bank transfers and we would clarify that.

$ That’s it. There are no emotions between us as there are in couples. Besides, we have contracts and other documents that you can always invoke. In a couple, an argument about whose was that second-hand book before they started living together can grow to the size of a discussion about nuclear weapon.

$ What does it have to do with getting married or not?

$ You sign a contract just in case bad times come. In good times the contract turns out to be needless. To get married or not is a very complex decision – I know that from my experience. Somebody told me once: if a couple have been together for about one year and they don’t raise the issue of getting married, one of them or both possibly wait for a better partner. It’s a simplification, of course. Obviously there are people who are hurt and remember the hell of their divorce. They start trembling all over at the very thought of going through this again. There are couples who had been living together for years and then decided to get married. Because one of them stopped waiting for a dream partner? Who knows? Let me tell you how this opinion resonates with me. Thanks to this I am able to know whether I am really interested in somebody or not. When I can hear a little voice in my head saying: Getting married – whatever for? I know that I like him only a little. When it says: Living together – after we get married! I know I do care.

$ Interesting.

$ Bagua 2 is not only about a relationship with your partner but also with friends, acquaintances, clients. What is important for you in this area?

$ The first thought was that I often feel so lonely in these relationships, that it doesn’t matter to me what they look like and how they develop.

$ Do you have the impression that you can’t count on anybody but yourself although you are surrounded by people who you like and love?

$ To some extent.

$ In my opinion it prepares you very well for the role of a manager, a leader, a CEO etc. A person who takes such a responsibility has of course huge groups of people to help them. However, eventually, they are on their own and they make final decisions on their own. Solitude is their defining characteristic.

$ I’m not afraid of this.

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