Chapter VIII – Part 4

Let’s check whether we mean the same thing when you’re saying that I contradict myself and when I say that both assumptions complete each other. After all, the fullness doesn’t exclude opposites. I assume that I have chosen to be born in our country. Since HE became president I realize that I haven’t been able to identify with the foreign policy of my country; consequently, I decide to leave. So, after having chosen (100% of my influence) the place of my birth, the die is cast, nevertheless, all other choices (to leave or to stay) are open. And the third thing is a saying that comes from the Chinese numerology: it doesn’t matter what you have; it matters what you do with it. I have the impression that in your opinion being a woman limits you in many respects.

$ O, yes, this is a men’s world.

$ What I’m saying is not about coming to the conclusion: I’m not happy with the gender I have chosen so I’m going to have a sex reassignment surgery, change my name and documents. All this is outside and real changes take place inside. What do men have, what do men do that you envy?

$ So many things!

$ Name three of them.

$ The traditional division of labor favors them.

$ Men placidly work and as far as possible earn for the family life while women go from one workplace (i.e. their office) to the other (i.e. the house).

$ Men have more power in companies and in politics – with other men they go fishing, drink shots, go to cathouses, they work things out in a way that is inaccessible to women.

$ Right.

$ And in a natural way they don’t care about the outside world: a T-shirt – it doesn’t matter for how many days I have been wearing it until I notice a specific smell; mopping the floors – whatever for, I never put on my slippers when I’m home anyway; washing up – not before mugs run out.

$ Let’s have a closer look at this. Can you influence the division of labor in your family? Because it’s only about your house, your family, your life.

$ Basically, I can. But look. For example the recent car thing. He promised to analyze the offers, test some cars and buy one. And so what? He knows that finally I won’t be able to stand it and I’ll deal with it.

$ I married a wonderful woman who spoils me. Although I promise to do something and don’t do it, eventually she does this for me. I love this quality in my wife so I do everything I can to develop this.

$ You’re a monster.

$ What you see you are. Listen to this. In fact, you like the way it is because you know how your husband functions and what you can do about it, how to react. You’re too lazy to radically change yourself so that you can enjoy as a part of your life something you declare you envy men.

$ I am lazy?! I resent that.

$ Let me explain what I mean. This is this kind of laziness I observe among people who come to see me because they want to learn say German.
- Your method seems so efficient, tell me then what our classes will look like.
So I say:
- At the first meeting we’ll talk about this and that, I’ll show you this and that method, we’ll meet in one-month time and we’ll see what you did.
- But I’m not going to do anything. I don’t feel like it.
From my observation, this ‘I don’t feel like it’ is only a cover, an armor protecting you from e.g. cognitive dissonance.

$ Right. I can learn German with my body and soul and not achieve what I wanted in the time I expected.

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