Chapter VIII – Part 13

$ I came to ask to turn down the music but I can see nothing doing, dancing queen.

$ Just a moment. I feel so good! By the way, you never dance.

$ No, never, but I am constantly in motion. I stretch every time I feel an impulse to do it. I use my body consciously: my muscles are a little tightened all the time. But not tense. And not lose like meat at the butcher’s. I like running untraveled roads, chasing butterflies. Or imagining that something or someone is escaping from me and pretending that I want to catch it until I am tired of running. What did you need to dance out?

$ Margaret had her coaching class today, we talked about reactive and proactive language, winners and losers, Inner Parent, Inner Child, Inner Adult.

$ You got scared at the very thought that you used to live without knowing all of this, didn’t you?

$ Exactly! I remembered the first time I read Covey. Before I started reading I thought to myself: well, a book is only a book. And then there were days, I read half a page, a paragraph or a sentence and digested it during the rest of the day. I can recall the shock I experienced when I had realized that I was responsible for everything in my life, for every detail. I resisted so much this message, I fought against arguments in my head.

$ The more I am internally convinced that something I don’t like (because it implies much work on myself) is true, the more I resist outside.

$ That’s what I experienced. But it’s with a great relief that I started using proactive language. I felt very satisfied when somebody said to me: you have to do this, you have to do that and I could answer: I don’t have to do anything. Was it due to my fascination with foreign languages? I don’t know. Anyway, proactive language fitted to me from the start, like the shoe to Cinderella’s feet.

$ Cinderella is your favorite fairy tale.

$ O, yes! Today we talked about fairy tales, too. In terms of scripts and transactional analysis.

$ To what extend are you Cinderella?

$ Much too far. The relationship with my brothers and sisters, impossible tasks achieved with the help of people from outside of the closest family.

$ Do you mean the fairy godmother?

$ That’s right.

$ I like the interpretation of the story that says the godmother let Cinderella go to the ball because she wanted to be face to face with Cinderella’s father.

$ And Cinderella was so naive to think that her godmother did it because she loved her.

$ Many years later when she realized that she understood that she had spent her childhood in an ocean of solitude.

$ And she thought to herself: it doesn’t matter what I got; it does matter what I’ll do about it. And she decided to be grateful for that experience because it led her to meet the prince – love of her life and it made her a wise, tolerant, and caring princess.

$ And they lived happily ever after.

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