Chapter VIII – Part 12

$ Do you go running?

$ Yes, I do. Last Saturday I ran half a marathon.

$ Do your children run half marathons?

$ No, they don’t. They run when they feel like it, when they have too much energy, when they want to tease me.

$ Adults make a duty out of every entertainment. Running = trainings, sacrifice, adequate outfit. Dancing = a ball room, a course, different shoes types for different dances. Painting = Art with a capital A or nothing.

$ I can’t feel the rhythm, I have never been able to draw. I used to cheat at school: my very talented friend would always do two drawings: one for her, one for me.

$ Pinker, a Canadian linguist, considers dancing and singing a kind of code. Languages are codes too and codes serve to communicate, consequently they are something absolutely natural. An infant lies in bed and their whole body reacts to the music. A 2-year-old baby hardly started to walk and they let the music enchant them. They enjoy watching their bodies in the mirror and admire their elementary pirouettes.

$ Do you suggest I had it and I lost it?

$ I suppose I had it, I lost it and then I regained that.

$ How do people lose it?

$ We are taught to compare to others and reach for I don’t know how exorbitant standards. What kind of hero do you have to be to be able to enjoy dancing in spite of the comments around you: you completely don’t know how to move?

$ But you have to admit that when you watch people dance, sometimes you experience pleasure watching, sometimes – let me put it in a diplomatic way – the pleasure is smaller.

$ That’s the way the critical Inner Parent watches it. The Inner Child simply plays: it watches or it dances. Can you test something? It’s a way to contact your Inner Child. Next time when you get angry or when things go wrong, switch on music and dance, if nobody can see you. Or sing when nobody can hear you. Or even better: scream and shout. And you’ll tell me how it was.

$ Do you do that?

$ I love dancing. And I know that if I am not able to dance, it means I would end up crying, I am so filled up with sorrow. And after I heard about this way to contact the Inner Child, I started screaming when I was pissed off and I burst into tears, I cried, cried out. Can we make an experiment with a drawing?

$ You can be sure: I can’t draw.

$ I take it. Here you are: a piece of paper, a pencil. Draw your family when you were five.

$ I can’t finish this drawing. I feel like weeping.

$ Did you feel very lonely as a child?

$ How do you know?

$ Look at your drawing. There are five circles, none of them are tangent, they move like free electrons around a nucleus – this bigger circle.

$ It represents my father.

$ And this little thing at the border of the galaxy is…

$ … me.

$ None of the circles have a base, a ground to support it. They are suspended, apparently together, as if by chance. That is why I thought about solitude.

$ I feel relieved now. As if I had smashed an ulcer inside of me.

$ You have invited your Inner Child to your life. When everybody lets you down, when there’s no light point on the map of your life, the loving Inner Parent will calm your Inner Child and it will tell you everything about your feelings, premonitions, longings, needs. You’ll let yourself be surprised by its creativity, intuition, innate wisdom.

You worked a lot today. Let me get you a drink.

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