$ Let me come back to the question: the same vs not the same. On the wedding day people are generally very happy. O, my husband is so resourceful. A wonderful person. Well, he has got one weakness: he smokes. Some years later “the same” can be possibly described like that: my husband is exactly like his family: stingy. He would save everything. I married a mean man and I have been living a mean life since then. And he stinks of cigarettes.
$ Yes, that’s the way it is! Or even worse: advantages fade away and disadvantages reinforce.
$ This whole sequence of thoughts is to enable you to see that what you feel does not depend on what is outside. First and foremost, you can influence that.
$ So when I get bad news am I supposed to persuade myself that I feel good?
$ I suggest starting with realizing what you feel. Anger. Panic. Nervous. Helpless. And observe how you body reacts: suddenly you feel cold? holding up your breath? tense muscles?
$ That’s probably why I reach for a cigarette every time I get nervous: to take a deeper breath.
$ Maybe. A deeper, calmer breathing is the beginning of a shift in emotions. I take a deep breath, I feel more quiet, my blood vessels broaden, I feel warmer, my muscles relax and that is the moment to choose what I need: peace, self confidence, hope, trust.
$ If I were to apply what you said to how tense I get at the very thought of German… Do you want me to understand what I feel and choose the feelings that can support my learning, my talk, my presentation every time I am in contact with the German language, before I start learning it, before I am going to lunch with German people, before I make a presentation in German?
$. Yes, I do. Feel → do → have. Have you ever heard a story of a very wise man who chose peace once for always? This man woke up in peace and said: o! today I feel trust. Another day he woke up in peace and said: o! today I feel anger.
$ How beautiful!
$ Coming back to the destructive thoughts. I took the example of the impaired hearing and showed you how to deal with it. Let’s handle the next ones.
$ I have always been a good student.
$ Does this thought support you or depress you?
$ On the one hand it supports me because for many years I had been successful at school therefore I know I can; on the other hand it depresses me because I lose control over learning a foreign language, I feel scared that my abilities go away with advancing years.
$ So there we have a supporting thought: I have always been a good student, which you can complete with: and I know how to learn. As for the age. have you ever heard of people who just in venerable age reached the apex of their possibilities?
$ Ancient philosophers, writers. It also stroke me what Bleckar said when he was leaving DC&C to go to Worldwide Cars.
$ What did he say?
$ That business is business. And he doesn’t know anything about cars but he is young enough to learn about it.
$ How old was he?
$ Excellent! In your opinion, what are Bleckar’s thoughts about the relation between the age and ability to learn?
$ The age doesn’t matter while you are learning.
$ Remember the white kangaroo on the green grass.
$ Right. I can learn effectively at every age.
$ Or even: the older I am the more effectively I learn because now I know more, I associate more easily, new information drops into the thick web of my associations that sorts it accordingly. Tell me: who has got an easier task: you or a baby learning their mother tongue?
$ A baby.
$ Think about this: a baby doesn’t know what bean, joy, lizard is. Not only do they learn the language but above all the whole world. You know the world. The only thing you do is to put a layer of a new language on the concepts that you need.
$ Is it scientifically proved?
$ Why does it matter? If such a thought supports your learning process, think like this. Besides, if anything in this matter is scientifically proved, none of the research has describe you, hasn’t it?