Do you remember our little misunderstanding today?
$ The “I’m happy you enjoyed it” thing? Yes, I remember.
$ I have a vision and I wonder what you think about it. Well, it seems to me that when it comes to German you become extremely tense at the very thought of it and you don’t think straight. You become a sixty-kilo-belief: my hearing is impaired, I won’t understand. And instead of simply listening to what people want to say and reacting your way, you assume: it doesn’t matter what I’ll say, so I’ll say anything, if only they don’t realize I didn’t understand.
$ Yes, I’m very tense.
$ You have a right to believe that you know a lot in German. Do you remember Neale Donald Walsch?
$ What are you referring to?
$ He drew my attention to the fact that on average we think according to the following scheme: have → do → feel, e.g. if I win in a lottery, I’ll have millions, I’ll travel the world and fell happy.
$ And on average I don’t win in a lottery, consequently, I don’t travel the world and don’t feel happy. Excuse me the stupidity of my illustration.
$ And Neale Donald Walsch remembers that the natural order is the other way round: feel → do → have. If I feel happy, I do different things than if I feel unhappy or I do the same things in a different way, consequently, I get what I want.
$ It’s thinly disguised. Out of the mere feeling happy I am supposed to pay for a trip around the world? And besides, if I feel like crying, am I supposed to give myself an order to feel happy?
$ Step by step. A trip around the world is a strategy of fulfilling a need. What need, in your opinion?
$ E.g. a need to rest, to get inspired, to be self-fulfilled.
$ That’s it. For each need give me please three further examples of strategies how to fulfill them.
$ Rest – e.g. sleeping, going jogging in a forest, a spiritual retreat. Getting inspired – e.g. reading… Actually, what is your point? Where is the trip around the world?
$ My point is that if I feel happy I contact my needs more easily and find a strategy to fulfill it instead of fixating on another strategy which is not accessible in this very moment.
$ And the trip? Forget it? Nothing doing?
$ That’s one way to look at it. Notice please that if a given need is fulfilled, you don’t long for other strategies to fulfill it. E.g. if you need order in your garden, you hire a gardener, he comes and does his job. Do you long for self-weeding garden patches then? Moreover, if I fixate on a strategy that is out of my direct reach in this precise moment, I idealize it, which means for example I can’t see any shortcomings of a trip around the world.
$ A trip around the world has no shortcomings.
$ Does it? What about jet lag, vaccinations, foreign languages, lost luggage, sleeping in hotels, not in your beloved bed, separation from your family.
$ I have never looked at this like that before.
$ Let’s get back to the Neal’s order. If I feel happy, I fulfill my need to rest, to get inspired, to be self-fulfilled and the things I need to have show up in my life as a natural consequence.
$ You wish.
$ See it yourself. We started saying that you have a right to believe that you have already learned a lot in German. How does Eve feel who is convinced that she knows a lot in German?
$ Show me.
Eve is lounging comfortably, relaxing her legs, putting her arms on the backrest, taking deep breaths and smiling.
You see! My suggestion is: every time you feel tense because you are supposed to make a presentation in German or to have lunch with German-speaking people etc., feel relieved and observe how different the things are you choose to do with the feeling of relief. Observe the results that the different things bring.