Chapter V – Part 12

$ Imagine that there are three people in this room and we are asked the question: what can you see outside the window?

$ I can see an impressive Korean fir. Outstanding piece! It must be over 50 years old.

$ I’d say: I can see row houses with flat roofs. Thank God, I live in a detached house with a sloping roof.

And a weather man would say: I can see dense and think clouds, there’ll be a heavy rain.

Each of us spoke about themselves even though we began with a view from our window. The same view.

$ I got lost.

$ Listen to this. Some time ago a client complained he was very unhappy with his partner. “Too little practice, too much work”, he said. In his opinion, she worked too much on herself in theory and didn’t apply that in real life. In fact, she escaped from life into personal growth. I told him: you’re talking about yourself. He said: no, not at all! This reflection idea doesn’t make sense because I don’t escape into personal growth, she does. Next weekend we had an appointment for a photo session. He is a photographer, by the way. And what did he do? He texted me: I won’t be able to show up because my family constellation session turned out to be much longer than expected.

From my observation, I criticize others for what I don’t accept in myself or my own bad habits or weaknesses.

$ You’re talking nonsense. I criticize Anthony for his lack of education. Are you insinuating that I am not well educated?

$ I can criticize a part of a bigger whole, in that case it is that whole that I can’t stand.

$ You are talking like Pythia today.

$ I appreciate your compliment. Another client of mine was not convinced of this approach either and she gave the following example: she went on holiday in Greece with a friend. They stayed in a 3-star-hotel at the seaside. My client says: my friend is so silly. She took towels from home because she has already been to that hotel and in her opinion, the towels in the hotel are disgusting. Since it didn’t even come to my mind to take towels from home, in spite of her warning, please explain to me: how do I criticize myself when I say that my friend is silly?

Do you know the answer?

$ No, I don’t. What is the answer?

$ In the time space you already know.

$ Yes, in the 5th or 8th dimension I do. But I am very much attached to the linear time.

$ Even in the linear time you know the answer. However, you may not reveal it in the context of this very question. I can tell you what my associations were. The friend takes towels from home because the quality of the hotel towels is an affront to her dignity. If I am somehow impressed by that piece of information and I personally have nothing against hotel towels, I may gracefully accept their quality, nevertheless, apart from that, it is a challenge to satisfy myself in many things.

And do you know what my client did? She blushed, coughed a little and changed the subject.

$ The body doesn’t lie. Anyway, like your client, in linear time I don’t know how I criticized myself while talking about ill-educated Anthony.

$ Like my client, you know even in linear time.

$ What do I know then?

$ Let’s look for it together. I will give you one option and you’ll tell me whether it resonates with you or not.

$ Go ahead!

$ Anthony earns billions and is illiterate so he doesn’t deserve such high salary.

$ Of course he doesn’t!

$ So I can ask myself: what don’t I deserve? To get someone to help me with my chores? To have a housekeeper? To work somewhere else and earn a lot?

Consequently, as long as I don’t tackle my English and master it I can deceive myself saying that my problems have their source in my tangible ignorance and I don’t need to contact a conviction deep in my heart: I don’t deserve a better life.

It is merely an example. You are the expert in the matters of your life, so only you know what stew is boiling over under the lid. By the way, you lowered your head, crossed your legs and arms.

And sighed.

Did I tell you the history of language coaching?

$ Remind me of that.

$ Before I started language coaching, I specialized in my method called “simultaneous teaching” and my formula in a nutshell said: one course – one teacher – two foreign languages.

My target is, among others, people who treasure their time, who want to use and improve their skills in one language while learning another, who are interested in quickly mastering two foreign languages.

Simultaneous teaching is so efficient because thanks to an additional foreign language in the class we are given another reference point, consequently we get more incentives to associate, compare similarities and differences etc.

Since there were many people interested in learning only one language, we also offered mono-lingual classes, one-to-one or in groups up to four.

In order to ensure our students optimal progress in their learning process, we specify at the first meeting at what level we start, what our target level is, when we want to achieve our goal, and how much time students can devote to self-directed education. Next step is to match students with a program (elementary, beginner, intermediate, advanced, business language), precise number and length of classes accordingly.

Our mission statement says: We make it easier for people to communicate. We want as many people as possible to speak foreign languages. We revolutionize the process of learning foreign languages so that it contributes to a comprehensive development of the students’ personality and character. We combine business with the promotion of learning foreign languages.

I discovered the method of simultaneous language teaching while attending University, when French and English students exchanged lessons with each other. Undoubtedly, Confucius’ saying: Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life was groundbreaking in my carrier. Thus, I started running my business and after having done market research I came to the conclusion that there was a niche in the market of Language Centers: students who are aware that merely speaking English is not enough. These students wish to not only improve their English, but also learn another foreign language, and who wish to accomplish both without the necessity of attending two classes.

For over ten years I have become more and more convinced that success is inside us and does not depend on outside factors, and being successful is mostly based on clarifying the following questions: Am I aware of the fact that nothing is permanent except change? Am I lucky? Do I realize that if I want something, I search for a way and if I do not want it, I search for an excuse? What are my beliefs? Do I remember that it is not what I have but what I do with what I have? Am I able to be here and now? Do I understand that I am 100% responsible for my life and that everything in my environment reflects my self? Do I know that reality is the way I perceive it? Am I detached from the results? Am I disciplined and well organized? What am I going to be like in 20 years? Do I distinguish important tasks from urgent ones? Am I ready to experience tension in relationships with people whose material condition is worse than mine? What is my inner voice/intuition saying? What do I feel? Am I conscious of my feelings? Do I remember that I choose how I am? I have to or want to? I should or can /decide /choose? I should not or do not want to? I will try or will do it? I cannot or will not do it? I have problems or challenges and opportunities? I make mistakes or learn lessons? I fail or receive essential feedback?

Eventually, I realized that nothing else matters so much at the beginning of the learning process as clarifying these question and so I invented Language Coaching.

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