Chapter IX – Part 13

$ How was it today?

$ Very interesting, thank you. We discussed the subject of motivation with Melanie.

$ There is not much to discuss, is there?

$ Well, she mentioned ten sources of motivation: traveling, sound of the French language, ego, attention, being systematic, tailor-made programs, perspective, freedom, multicultural aspects and falling in love with a foreigner.

$ Have you noticed that all of them fall into two categories?

$ No, I haven’t. What are they?

$ Love and fear.

$ Let me think.

$ If my motivation is love, I travel to broaden my mind or to experience something new. If my motivation is fear I travel to show off: tell my friends where I was, send pictures, be suntanned in the middle of winter.

$ I get it. Falling in love comes only in the category of love.

$ Unless you consider your partner your possession and expect him/her to do this and not to do that.

$ Yes, when I forget that my partner stands for: the person I am currently with. Ego comes only with the fear.

$ As well as attention.

$ Why attention? What’s wrong with it? If I know I love myself I also know I deserve attention.

$ If you really love yourself, you can give yourself all the attention you need. You realize it is not out there. As Byron Katie says: I am my perfect mate; my partner is a bonus.

$ She also says: Your partner will bring up every concept ever known to humanity, in every combination, so that you can come to know yourself.

All the advice you ever gave your partner is for you to hear.

The only meaningful relationship is the one you have with yourself. Are you in love yet?

If you want to see the love of your life, look in the mirror. But there’s one thing. Objection, in fact. If you want my attention and I don’t give it to you, you protest.

$ So what? If you give me what I want from you or if you don’t, it is all right with me.

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