Chapter I – Part 6

$ It seems you have found the key to the enchanted gate to your attitude. Let’s get back to the question of shame, fear and control. You’ll have a look at the remaining ones on your own when you feel like it and when you come to the conclusion it enriches your life.

$ Fear.

$ Fear. Where is the fear?

$ First in my head, then everywhere.

$ So it’s very powerful. Where does this power come from?

$ I give the fear this power. First, I imagine something, I recall something or interpret an event. Then I imagine some more, I recall something more and something else happens etc. Fear becomes perpetual motion.

$ Tell me about a fear of yours that is connected with foreign languages.

$ I was about five years old. We went to Greece with my family. My parents gave me money and send to the shop to get some milk. We used to go to that shop many times, I knew where the bottles with the milk were and how much it cost. I came in and I saw no milk. I walked in the shop round and round, once, twice – nothing. Two shop assistants saw question marks in my eyes and started explaining something to me. I don’t even know what language they spoke. I think they tried in various languages. I felt so embarrassed. Finally, one of them put down: 17.00, gave me this piece of paper and I came back running to the hotel with a feeling of failure. I thought I had deceived my family. It’s absurd: 50 years later I dive into a history of some unbought milk.

$ Do you think a successful president that you obviously are is not allowed to fail?

$ Failures cost money and time.

$ To me, milk and diary products are very symbolic. They remind me of my mother’s breast. Totally unconsciously, of course. What do I want to have if I feel depressed? Chicory coffee with cream. Mother’s breast implies security. You mentioned security today before we started talking about losing control. Does it resonate with you?

$ I’m thinking.

$ What are you feeling?

$ I don’t know.

$ Are you afraid of knowing?

$ This is possible.

$ What is the worst thing that can happen when you find out what you feel?

$ I will cry like a broad in front of my language coach and my wife will know it and she complains I never cry. I didn’t even cry at my mother’s funeral. What time is it? Let’s call it a day. Anyway, I wanted to leave early today because I’m going to the theatre to see the premiere of “The Quartet”.

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