Chapter I – Part 5

You see, using a language is not separated from life, it is a part of life. If losing control drives me crazy every time it happens, probably losing control when it comes to a foreign language wakes a beast in me, too. When do you lose control over foreign languages?

$ When do I lose control? I have never had it! At school I wasn’t able to reach much in this subject and when I started (the word “started” is the key word here) to organize something in my head, they changed the teacher. I prepared piles of cribs, language tests cost me sleepless nights and digestions extravagancies. To add more zest, I’d like to emphasize that I was a very good student. Not the best, but a very good one. The older I was, the more scared that one day somebody would discover: man, you’ve been learning English for 8 years, all certified, and you don’t know anything! So to make it worse, I was controlled by shame and fear. Now my control is much more professional because I have become professional, too. My company sell machines transforming solar energy into electricity and carrying it to sockets, batteries etc. Scientists all over the world work on using solar energy and everything they publish is in a foreign – to me – language. Research that I’m talking about is done with such a speed that once a report is translated into my mother tongue, it needs to be updated. I get those reports with my everyday mail and I feel how much power they have over me. I am ashamed of the fact that I’m not even able to skim the text and evaluate whether I need a full translation or not. I’m also afraid of the following: due to my linguistic incompetence I will make a wrong strategic decision, my company will collapse, 5,000 people, most of them breadwinners, will be given a sack. It’s a nightmare that haunts me now and then. Of course if it happens, Technical Director and Translation Department will be to blame. I feel so humiliated.

$ In your eyes, is it a manipulation to fire somebody for something you regard as – let me call it provisionally – your fault?

$ Indeed. Right, when I reproached you manipulation, I was talking about myself. I remember when you told me that every person and every situation were my reflection. And what I think about them, in fact I think about myself. We even had a row about it and I stopped attending coaching classes for half a year. My reason gave me the hint: it’s not a method for me. I had the impression I understood what you meant and I thought I just didn’t agree  with you. Today I felt it. I am devastated and I can’t see a swallow at the end of the tunnel.

$ Or light at the end of the tunnel vs one swallow that doesn’t make a summer.

$ You see, I don’t even speak my mother tongue.

$ Change of attitude, quickly, please! We started from manipulation. So I can assume that in order to change your life, including its linguistic areas, you need to change your attitude towards… towards what?

$ To manipulation itself. Oh, no! Does it mean that I’m supposed to take to manipulation?! Manipulation is bad! If everybody…

$ Objection, Your Honor! We leave big quantifiers in front of the building of the language centre because it is only about you. It is always only about you and here it is about you in the context of your foreign languages. What’s good? What’s bad? “Let the cabbage be our judge! And the cabbage answered sadly: why quarrel? We’ll soon end up in a soup.” Is a toothache good or bad? How often would you go to the dentist’s if you knew that your teeth won’t ache?

$ Nice shot.

$ What would you say if I suggested changing your attitude to your perception of manipulation?

$ All right.

$ Changing your attitude to seeing manipulation everywhere?

$ Uhm. Changing my attitude to seeing psychomanipulation in the work of my language coach.

Both burst out laughing. A dignified CEO used two pieces of tissue to dry his tears and clean his nose.

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